December 31, 2015


Life sure has its up and down. Sometimes we are on top and at the other time we are at the bottom. There is no such thing last forever. People and things could change as the time flow. Sure I am aware of the basic rules of life. However, I feel like the whole 2015 was frozen in my mind as I couldn't even remember how it started. At least that's what across in my mind when it comes to the end of 2015.

Going back to the exact time last year. In the end of 2014, I see that 2015 is a year I've been waiting for. I feel like everything was settle and I will reach another checkpoint in my life. I remind myself about what to do when I'm turning 24. I had such a lot of plans, goals, and things in my mind. Few days after the new year, things started floating to the surfaces.

In the beginning, I didn't think it was such a big deal. A lot of things happened where ever I go and apparently not a good one. It seems I don't have a place to fit in.  It didn't last me long to handle such a lot of thing in such a short of amount of time. Three months afterward, things were just getting worse and it is one of the hardest time when I had the worst mental breakdown. I rarely talked to my friends and avoid any kinds of meeting. Remember Elsa in Frozen's movie? Never think I would be in the same situation. All I could do is shut people out and be alone. I'm afraid that I would hurt people in my current state although they understand and seems fine with it. I kinda understand how it feels to be under serious depression and how it could lead into serious attempt that might risk your life. I need such a long time to get things back on track.

Everything seems like a big mess. As a very complicated tangled knots in my life no matter how hard you tried. I started to pray a lot and a very good friend of mine told me to keep in my faith that the best is yet to come.

It might sounds cliche, but then I don't know a better word to address it.


By the end of the year, we're just talking about moving out. Few days afterward, a serious matter happened and we were finally urged to move out. Something serious enough that could shut people up of disbelief. Something unpredictable and not even once across in my mind. I was in a state of shock for only few days but then I just feel relieved. God answered me... in a way that no one could ever imagined before.

I still could hardly believe that everything happened in a flash and we actually started living a new life already. A lot of things happened in 2015 and I learned my lesson. When you need a long-break, just take your time, there is no need to rush things. When you need time to be alone, don't be so hard to yourself. I never think that I could enjoy life more than this. It feels like my life has started ticking again. Just in the right time. 

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