August 24, 2016

Checkpoint #25 | Quarter Life

As usual, this is an annual birthday-related post that I personally write for my personal records. However I come up with something different this year since I'm one of those who enter the 'quarter life stage'.

I don't know who started this silly tags but since early 2016, all my friends (who were born in the same year) started using this 'Quarter Life' phrases to 'remind' ourselves that we are no longer kids and deep into adulthood whether we like it or not. I'm actually someone who are pretty strict about age, as I think age is some kind of restrictions for me. I'm used to set my own goals, what to do when I reach on age 20 and so on. Someone tell me when you're above 25, age is only a matter of number, it has nothing to do with life. Perhaps I am somehow understand the reason why.

For the longest time I could remember, I believe I would live my life as everyone will do in a normal life cycle... let's say graduate - pursue my own career - marriage (end of my life or at least that's what I thought). Things are pretty fun and freedom is in the air when I hit my early 20s, to be honest, I never think that 25 will come so soon. Soon after graduation, reality finally hit me and I ended in a 'never-ending' work life. Things has been like work - eat  - sleep and repeat. I still think that it is a part of living my life normally as everyone else do. From the day onwards, time just flies as I never realize.

I started to see my friends in the same age are getting married and some of the closest one are entering motherhood already. Something that will never across in my mind in these past years. There are also some of them were busy running their own business and also plenty of them were busy pursuing a great career-life in another side of the world. Truth is life keeps rolling while we're too busy growing up and perhaps some people (including me) finally ended up to this critical question : How far I have come.

In my case, I guess last year was one of the toughest thing for me and I did feel like I was left behind. I started wondering what's wrong with my life while other are enjoying a pretty awesome life and I am stuck on my own. Things are literally not good (or perhaps I could say the worst) a lot of them happened over and over again. It was something beyond my plans, in both good and bad ways. If I recall, I never skipped on any checkpoint post every single year but apparently I did it last year as I cannot manage to write a single good thing out. It is rare to see myself who usually prepare for the worst finally reach my limit...and I WASN'T READY. At some point over there, I feel like I fail miserably at life.(as written back in 2015 here)

Truth is we are living our life in many ways. I believe we all have a different perspective and goals to achieve. We also lived in a different circumstances and got to deal with different problems in our life but one thing ... no one writes the same life-time story in their life therefore it explains why we are running on different pace. It is not fair to measure how you carry out life based on how others living their own life. Some people might need more time and they are not the one to blame. Life is not a competition but a journey. We are not running our whole life to see who is doing much faster or much better in life as we have different finish line. Learn from someone who are doing better is a good thing but trying so hard to be someone else is another thing. Strive to be the best you can do instead of trying to be better than the others. Be a better person than who you are yesterday. 

Life goal is never about everything you see within others yet not that perfect goal we created in our mind. Well if I could ask, what is exactly the 'dream-life-goal'? It is not always about how much money you have earned. It is not always about how many time you have gone abroad. It is also not about how perfect your partner is. It is not always about enliven the imagination of how our ideal life would be. It is true that some of them are essential parts in life but they are simply not all the only measures you need to watch over for your entire life. Life never sets an exact measurements but sometimes we are the one who set them all and ended up burdening ourselves with unnecessary thing.

Shit could happen at anytime, messed up around and thus makes your life even harder to walk on. Maybe we are no longer capable of pursuing our dream job. Maybe we could no longer love each other as much we do back then. Maybe we had experience a great lost. A lot of possibilities could make their way into our life but they were there for a reason we don't know yet so no matter where you are standing now, be grateful for everything you have and carry on. Sometimes life works like a mystery. You will never know what's waiting for you in front we can always gear up ourselves for whatever it will be .

Today when I tried looking back through things, there comes a funny thing I acknowledge about life. Most of the time reality will not always meet our expectation but trust me it is not bad. Obstacles and problems are there for reason. Of course they are not here to spice up our life with sorrow but to define us into a better person. It is normal to break down once in a while and it is okay to feel sad when you need it. Remember about Inside Out movie? Each feelings is something we need to embrace with. A very close friend of mine told me if happiness never remains forever, the same thing will do for sadness. :) I know it sounds easy for me to talk about this when things are getting better but I guess there is nothing good coming out from drowned inside our own negativity, right? It is also another reason why do I like to keep a record of myself. Most of the time, when I flipped back through, several things in the past could be a very good lesson and the rest turns into giggles... "What was I thinking back then?" Sometimes the happiest people is not the one who have the perfect life but the one who choose to be happy.

If there are some of you who are currently struggling in life, I might have no idea what you are dealing with and it has always been easy to tell people all the sweet words while we're not hitting the rock bottom but remember that you are not the only one. You and I have been there. The same thing goes for the others. Life is not always fluttered with flowers and joy. Life is not about the end results. There will be obstacles. There will be misfortune. Still it is not a reason for any of us to give up on life. It's never too late to start. It's never to late to be whoever you want to be. Regardless of your age, live your life with a smile, show some love, do good things, hold your dream in your hands always and be grateful for everything you have now. As for the rest, I believe to let God work on His part while we're doing ours. :)

And in the end, it is not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
(Abraham Lincoln)

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